What is the most insidious kind of hate?
Which flavor of hate causes the most destruction, derails the most drives, and devastates the most dreams?
Self-hate does all that and more.
Self-hate has carte blanche with the personal insults.
It says things to yourself you would never say to others. Actually pause and think about this for a moment. Would you ever really say the following to a person in real life?
“John, it’s just too hard. You won’t ever make the time for your dream trip to Japan, so give up.”
“Stacy, you don’t have what it takes to get that promotion. Besides, you’re just not hot enough; you don’t have the ‘wow’ factor.”
“Steve, you’re just too fat and too far behind. You might as well stay in bed and, ultimately, let the heart attack get you.”
“Your fat dimples are showing, Janet. Could you please cover up?”
Of course you wouldn’t be so cruel to real people that way; but you talk like that to yourself all the time. And you probably say a lot worse.
It should be the inverse. Self-talk should be total self-love. You should say the things to yourself that you often say to others.
You have the time and energy and organization to take that trip to Japan.
You have what it takes to get your promotion. (And you have all the wow factor you need!)
You’re ready and energized to reclaim you’re health!
You are the one! And this moment? This is THE moment!
Your self-talk should be so radiant and confidence-building that your atoms shake.
Your self-talk should be so empowering it scares you. Your self-talk should be so rich and overabundant that you should have to dial it down when talking with others about their potential.
How can you begin to ditch self-hate and cultivate self-love?
Start by telling yourself the things an adoring father or mother would tell you.
Continue by telling yourself the things you crave for your lover to say to you.
Build courage by telling yourself the things you wish your closest friend would say to you.
Launch a dream by telling yourself the things you hope the masses say about you at your journey’s end.
Say these things out loud. (Do it!) Write them in a journal. (Do it!) Set a phone reminder to remind you about them. (Do it!)
Then get freaky. Program Google Assistant to repeat them back to you. Tattoo an icon that triggers thoughts of them. Sketch a symbol or sigil of them and hang it in your home office.
Self-talk leads to self-love.
Self-love shared is liquid courage.
Liquid courage tastes like love.
Love is the only thing that will eradicate self-hate.
The eradication of self-hate is the only sure way to eradicate outer hate.